" "See, told you so Harry," Hermione said good-naturedly. "So you guys going to bond tonight?"
Both Harry and Draco spit their food out in surprise.
"Hermione!" both boys cried, scandalized.
"Oh come on," Hermione said, rolling her eyes. "Don't play innocent with me. I happen to know exactly what Harry's wearing on his wrist, and you two would be stupid if you hadn't realized that Harry can use it to sneak into Draco's room tonight."
Harry and Draco exchanged glances. "Fine, yes, we're going to bond tonight," Harry finally hissed in a very quiet voice. "Not that it's any of your business."
"Lovely," said Hermione, looking at the two of them appraisingly. "So who's going to be on top?"
"Me," Harry and Draco both said in the same voice.
Then they turned to stare at each other in surprise. Hermione rubbed her hands together eagerly.
"Excellent," she whispered, and sat back to enjoy the show.
"Harry, obviously I'm going to be on top our first time," Draco said in a somewhat patronizing voice. "After all, I'm the veela."
"Exactly," Harry responded. "You're the veela. I'm your mate, the one who takes care of you. I'm always the one holding you when we cuddle. Wouldn't that translate to you being the bottom?"
"NO," Draco said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "It's completely irrelevant. YOU ought to bottom. I'm the older one, and the stronger one."
"Yeah, but I'm the taller one."
"I've got veela powers."
"I can order you to do what I want."
"I'm more possessive. Obviously I'll be on top."
"I punish you when you're too possessive. Obviously, I'll be on top."
"You're the one who gets all girly and sentimental," Draco said hotly. "Hardly top behavior."
"Yeah, well you're the one who enjoys being arse-up over my lap getting spanked. That practically screams bottom."
"Oh, so it's a crime now to be a bit kinky?"
"A bit kinky? Draco, you're the kinkiest little sod I know. You get off on anything that's a bit twisted."
"Yeah, well you're just repressing you inner Slytherin. I bet you're kinkier than me when you really let go."
"I highly doubt that," Harry snapped. "Seeing as that would be impossible."
Draco and Harry glared at each other.
"I top you in everything."
"Draco, you've never topped me in one single thing in your life."
"I have so."
"Yeah? Name one."
"Quidditch - "
"I've kicked your arse every time."
"Pranks - "
"You dressed as a dementor and made scary noises. We made fucking polyjuice potion and impersonated Crabbe and Goyle."
"I'm braver - "
"You ran screaming from the forest and left me to fight Voldemort alone."
"My marks are higher - "
"Only in Potions because Snape's a biased git who hates my dad."
"I got more OWLS - "
"You didn't, we got the same."
"I've got more money - "
"It's all your Daddy's money."
Draco narrowed his eyes. "I'm a prefect."
"Hey, me too."
Harry, Draco and Hermione all glanced up in shock to see Ron joining them at the table."